Red Plumber
by stickzx
Summary: Xander's crazy italian plumber's Halloween adventure. Yahf


Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy, but I do own butt monkeys.

Tell me what you think.

Xander cursed himself, the last toy gun was ripped out of his hands by a way too gleeful child.

This simply could not do, he was the two dollar costume king! He had dug out some old fatigues from his dad's old military days last year and had his mind set on purifying the odor that was his father to be able to impress the ladies. After all, no woman could resist a man in uniform.

His soldier option out the door Xander ferociously dug through the aisles looking for a discount costume, there was no way in hell he was going to Halloween and not dressing up.

He dug through the cliché costume choices that any regular person would wear like Superman, Batman, and there was even a costume for the Hulk. He paid those no mind and continued on, his search looked bleak right up until he spotted something red out of the corner of his eyes. They were a pair of old dirty red overalls with a cap and a deep blue shirt.

He knew this wouldn't impress the ladies, but looking at the price tag it was the only option he had. Plus at least he wouldn't feel so unoriginal dressing up as some dumb superhero right?

Resigning to his fate as the new plumber in town he grabbed the costume and headed for the front.

Although the costume didn't come with some of the accessories he was lucky enough to have a pair of white gloves and brown boots. Unfortunately he was unable to find a good fake mustache, but at least he looked the part mostly.

He walked outside and took a stroll through the town, he headed towards Buffy's house to collect his girls. He walked passed the costume shop again, and through one of the windows he saw the creepy old English guy holding some statue. He thought it strange but he ignored it and continued on his way.

He reached her front door, and took a second to make sure everything looked right, he knocked on the door and hoped that his girls would at least see the comedy in this.

The door opened a beautiful Joyce was there to welcome him. Joyce gave him a smile and said "Hey Xander, nice costume, the girls are just finishing up I'll go get them."

Xander gave her a smile and replied "Thanks Joyce."

He sighed when she left, alright lets get this party started he thought.

He felt a wave of energy hit him and he knew something was up, but for the life of him he couldn't seem to stay awake any longer….

Mario glanced around, one minute he was battling the forces of Bowser trying to save the Princess AGAIN. The next thing he knew he was standing around a suburban neighborhood with monsters running around.

He tried to reached for anything within his mind to rationalize how he got here, looking deep he got flashes of memories of some teenage kid with an unhealthy obsession with snack foods.

It turned out he was in some normal everyday neighborhood situated atop the mouth of hell, cool. Before he could see any other memories a big dog like demon came running at him, he smirked at the beast before using the massive muscles in his legs to propel himself farther away. There was no use sticking around here, he would just get interrupted trying to find clues on how to get back to his own world. So he ran jumped his way across the town trying to find a nice quiet spot. On the way he of course was able to dispatch some monsters with a regular jump that capped out at about four stories.

He was lucky enough to find an abandoned warehouse, but unlucky for him there was already an occupant in the form of a bleached blonde vampire. The vampire was spewing some regular villain trash talk.

Mario jumped and before the blonde could do anything Mario landed on his face, the impact was so hard and caused so much damage that the vampire dusted right then and there.

Satisfied that he was alone the plumber again shifted through this bodies memories before finding one of the costume shops owner carrying the statue. Mario gave a big "Waaaahoooooo" before jumping through the skylight heading towards the shop.

Xander woke up feeling quite strange...

Last night's adventures had left him quite drained, but it also left him some things that in his wildest dreams he never thought he could do. Xander stood up and started sprinting before taking a great leap. Reports on the news the next day report that a strange red weather balloon was spotted all around town flying up and down.

Xander was nervous, he had snuck into the school and hid in the library waiting for the gang. They had arrived at lunch time talking about their experiences last night. The subject of himself was brought up.

Before he could stop himself he stepped out and said "Hey it's a' me Xander."

The gang gave him one glance before bursting into near hysterical laughter.

His face became red and he stepped forward to plead with the only person who could help him. "Giles, please help a' me PLEASE."

Giles calmed himself before trying to speak, he said "Alright Xander, let me see what I can research."


End file.
